Percy Jackson with a twist of FRIENDS
by LostInFandoms
Summary: An alternate ending to how the rest of camp found out about how Percabeth had FINALLY got together, with a plot from F.R.I.E.N.D.S, starring Percy as Chandler, Annabeth as Monica, Grover as Joey, Thalia as Rachel, Clarisse as Phoebe and no one in particular as Ross.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so I can't take credit for 90% of this because most of it is from Friends, and it's rushed and not very good writing but who cares because it's fluff.

Percy

'You're laughing at me," I complained.

'I am not!'

'You are _so _not making this easy.'

Then she laughed for real, and she put her hands around my neck. 'I am never, _ever_ going to make things easy for you, Seaweed Brain. Get used to it.'

When she kissed me, I had the feeling my brain was melting right through my body.

I could have stayed there forever, except a voice drifting up the hill growled 'If they're not up here, I don't have a clue where they are.'

Immediately, we pulled apart and stared at the ground. Annabeth fiddled with her hair innocently whilst I sat looking dumbfounded.

'There you are!' Clarisse said. 'We've been looking everywhere, Chiron wants you.'

A few campers were behind her, retreating back down the hill now they'd found us.

"What are you smiling at?" Clarisse asked me suspiciously.

'Nothing.' I mumbled, as I followed Clarisse down the hill, Annabeth playing with my fingers behind my back.

Chiron wanted us to ask if we would be interested in staying at camp this year to help deal with post-doomsday clean-up. We both agreed, and then found a deserted corner and… well, you know.


	2. Chapter 2

Grover.

Chewing on a tin can, I strutted away from the nymph. "You can't let the satyrs do that!" she shouted in despair.

"I can do what I want; I am a LORD OF THE WILD." I shouted back. Stupid nymphs. They think they can have the whole forest to themselves. Well I'll show th-

"Hey, Grover!" Percy called. He and Annabeth were trudging through the leaves that had begun to fall to mark the start of Autumn. Gods, those two had been spending a lot of time together lately. They kept having to do the camp's laundry. Acting strange too, leaving me out completely. I decided to let them off because they were bickering less, which made them slightly more bearable to be around.

"Chiron wants me to go sort out the mess near the labyrinth entrance, fancy helping?" Percy asked. I couldn't particularly say I did, but I agreed to go anyway.

"I'm going to see Thalia, so I'll meet you after dinner?" Annabeth asked Percy.

"Um, yeah, see you." Percy said, smiling at her awkwardly.

"What are you doing after dinner?" I asked.

They looked at each other.

"Percy… um, has to… do a thing…"

"Yeah, and I uh, need Annabeth's help."

"Whatever." I told them, becoming very interested in my tin can. See what I mean? Leaving me out completely. I used to do their 'things' with them, like saving the world and stuff.

Percy and I found our way to the Labyrinth entrance, which looked like an angry Tyson had been let loose. Of course, it had actually been much worse than that, but right now it was just piles of ash, broken trees, and pools of scarlet blood.

"According to Chiron, there are lots of broken bits of armour he wants us to get." Percy said as he knelt on the floor and started to collect bits of gold scattered amongst the debris.

"Okay." I said, imitating him. "Oh yeah, I've been meaning to ask, who was that girl you disappeared with at dinner last night?"  
He dropped everything he was holding.

"You – You saw that?" he asked, alarmed.

"Dude, the whole pavilion did. I thought Annabeth was going to murder you, but I guess she'd gone to the bathroom or something."

"Oh… yep."

"So who was it?"

"I don't think you know her."

"Try me."

"You definitely don't know her."

"You don't tell me anything anymore." I sighed, shaking my head. "Got anywhere to put all this?" I asked, regarding the shards of metal.

"Yeah, there's some trash bags in my backpack." He told me. I unzipped his backpack that he'd tossed to the ground, and was a little taken aback by its contents.

"Dude, why do you have an eyelash curler in here?"

He froze. "Um… yeah, that's mine."

"Oh… I thought it might be that girls." I told him awkwardly.

"That might have made more sense." He said slowly.

"I don't even feel like I know you anymore, man." I repeated.

Later on, Clarisse, Percy, Annabeth and Thalia were doing the dishes whilst I sat there and complained about the nymphs.

"Isn't your girlfriend a nymph?" asked Thalia.

"Well, yeah, but she's not the problem, it's the rest of the-"

"No one cares." Clarisse interrupted harshly.

"Hey Thalia, can I borrow your eyelash curler, I think I lost mine."

My eyes widened and I gasped – oh my gods it was so obvious! How had I missed it? I pointed at Percy, then at Annabeth, then at Percy, then at Annabeth; Clarisse and Thalia were looking at me completely nonplussed. Annabeth cursed under her breath. Percy put his hand over my mouth and dragged me outside. I could hear Annabeth making excuses to the girls. Percy took us to behind a clump of trees.

I started to shout out no words in particular, and Percy wrestled me to the ground, his hand still over my mouth. Annabeth was wringing her hands together. Once I'd stopped screaming, Percy slowly let go of me and stood up, saying "Yes, yes."

"You?" I exclaimed, looking between them. "And you? With him? Her?"

"Yes, but you can't tell anyone, no one knows!" said Annabeth.

"How? When?"

"It doesn't matter"" Percy said. "The reason we didn't tell anyone is because we didn't want to make a big deal about it."

"But it is a big deal!" I said. "I gotta tell someone." I began to stand up, but they both pushed me back to the ground.

"You can't" Percy said exasperatedly, shaking his head.

"Please, we just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay?" Annabeth begged. "Just promise you won't tell?"

"… Alright." I said, and they both sighed with relief. "Man, this is unbelievable! I mean, it's great!"

They smiled and Annabeth said "I know" and they started kissing and I literally threw up in my mouth shouting "I don't wanna see that!"


	3. Chapter 3

Thalia

"I'm just saying, gossiping is the worst." I said. Annabeth, Percy and Grover had shuffled back in about half an hour ago from when Percy aggressively shoved Grover out of the door.

"Like you never do it." Annabeth accused me.

"Of course I don't!" I said.

"I'll bet you ten drachma that you do it in the next five days." Clarisse said.

"I'll also get in on that bet." Percy said.

"Me too." Added Grover.

"Fine, I can do that, easy." I told them. "So in five days I'll be forty drachma up?"

"Of course you won't. It's in a girl's nature to gossip." Grover said.

Clarisse looked at him dangerously.

The next day, I needed to borrow something from Annabeth. I knocked on her cabin's door. No one answered, but I could hear people inside, so I went on in anyway. Annabeth was busy iris messaging someone. I figured I'd just wait until she'd done by the door. I couldn't help but overhear her conversation. It went a little something like this:

Annabeth: "Shut up, you idiot."

Stranger: "You know you like it. Anyway, where am I meeting you tonight?"

Annabeth: "You can't, I promised I'd help Thalia with this problem she has."

Stranger: "Is this you playing hard to get?"

Annabeth: "I suppose I could tell her I'm doing laundry…"

Stranger: "Hmm. Laundry. Is that my new nickname?"

I dived out of the door praying to every god that I knew that she hadn't heard me. Originally, I had thought the stranger's voice had belonged to – well, a stranger. But now I'd matched it to a face and oh gods I did not want to hear the rest of that conversation.

I headed to the forest to find Grover. He was talking to Nico.

"Grover!" I interrupted their conversation.

"Well, Nico, Thalia's here, so good luck with that." He said.

"But you didn't actually help me?" Nico said confusedly.

"Goodbye now." Grover said. Nico stalked off, annoyed.

"Grover, I have such a problem." I told him.

"Well, your timing couldn't be better; I am putting out fires all over the place."

"Okay, okay, Grover I have got to tell you something."

"What is it?" he asked curiously.

"Oh my gods it's so huge but you just have to promise me, you cannot tell anyone!" I told him, unsure of whether to be excited or horrified. As soon as I mentioned not telling anyone, though, his eyes widened in alarm.

"Oh no, no no no no no no, I don't wanna know!" He said resolutely.  
"Yes, yes, yes you do want to know, this is unbelievable!"

"I don't care, Thalia look, I am tired of being the guy who knows _all_ the secrets and can't tell anyone!"

"What secrets? You know secrets? Well what are they?" I asked curiously.

"And you're not supposed to be gossiping!"

"I know I know, I just can't keep this one in. So I walk in the-"

"Ah LALALALALALALALALALA!" Grover started to shout over me like a five year old, before storming off deeper into the forest.

We were somehow roped into doing the dishes _again. _Clarisse had gotten out of it somehow, so it was just me, Annabeth, Percy and Grover. Just as Annabeth placed the last one on the side to dry, I asked, "So Annabeth, are you going to come and help me sort out this thing tonight then?"

"Actually, I kind of need to do some laundry." She said.

"Hey, me too." Piped up Percy. "You know, if this shirt is dirty." He sniffed his arm. "Yep." Together they walked over to the door and left without saying another word.

"Hey, uh Grover?" I said once they'd left. "Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?"

"Oh, no, ALALALA!" He put his fingers back in his ears and started shouting again. I grabbed his hands away from his head and sighed "I'm not gonna tell you. But if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it, right?"

"Well then it wouldn't be a secret, so yeah, that would be okay. Yeah, yeah."

"Yeah. Okay. Hey, uh Grover would you mind going over to Percy's cabin and getting that book back that he borrowed from me?" I asked innocently.

His eyes widened. "…Now? Y-You want me to go over there now?"

"Yeah."

He stared at me. "Do you know something?"

"Do _you_ know something?" I asked.

"I might know something." He said.

"I might know something too."

He paused. "What's the thing you know?"

"Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know."

"I can't tell you what I know."

"Well then I can't tell you what _I_ know."

"Okay fine." He said. I sat down and we both waited in silence for the other to speak.

He looked at me. "You don't know." He scoffed.

"Okay, I'm gonna go over there and I'm going to walk into Percy's cabin and I will see the thing that I think I know is actually the thing that I think that I know!"

He stood up and pointed, his mouth open wide. "You know!" he shouted.

"And you know!" I shouted back.

"Yeah I know!"

"Percy and Annabeth!" I said in a high voice. "Oh this is unbelievable! How long have you known?"

"Too long!" He grabbed my arms and started shaking me. "Oh my gods, Thalia, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! But listen, listen! You can't say anything to anybody, they're so weird about that, listen, th-b-HEYYY!" he shouted, I turned around and Clarisse was entering. "AHH!" I screamed.

"HI!" Grover shouted.

"HEEEYY" I also shouted.

"Hello…" Clarisse said suspiciously.


	4. Chapter 4

Clarisse

So Thalia and I were walking along the base of half-blood hill. Thalia dropped something, so she went back to get it whilst I waited at the bottom of the hill. I looked up, and I could see two figures close together. Squinting, I made out a curly blond girl and a messy black haired boy that could only be Annabeth and Percy.

"Hey look!" I called back to Thalia. "It's Percy and Annabeth. We should go and push them off the hill and see if Dionysus comes. Hey!" Neither of them seemed to hear me, so this seemed like a golden opportunity. I was about to jog up the hill, when I saw them move in closer. I'd prefer not to describe anything else. "Oh!" I screamed, putting my hand to my mouth, and they still miraculously didn't hear me. "Ah! AH! AAAHHHH!"

Thalia came running over to me, and looked where I was looking. I continued to scream, "AHH! PERCY AND ANNABETH! PERCY AND ANNABETH!" I began to point.

Thalia got very panicked. "OH MY GODS!" She screamed.

I continued. "AHH! PERCY AND ANNABETH!"

"OH MY GODS"

"AH! OH, MY EYES! MY EYES!" I turned away from the hill trying to forget what I had just seen.

"Clarisse! Clarisse! It's okay! It's okay!" Thalia screamed.

"NO, LOOK AT THEM!"

"I KNOW!"

"THEY'RE-"

"I KNOW! I KNOW!"

"YOU KNOW?"

"YES I KNOW, AND GROVER KNOWS; BUT NOBODY ELSE KNOWS SO YOU HAVE TO STOP SCREAMING!" she shouted, screaming herself.

"Hey, what's going on?" One of the guys from the Athena cabin approached us from behind. It took a second to click that he was Annabeth's brother. I didn't really like Annabeth or Percy, but your brother walking in on someone feeling you up is a fate you wish for no one. Thalia was obviously thinking along the same lines, because she started screaming again.

"AHHHHH!"

"What?" he asked, looking slightly scared.

"WE'RE JUST SO EXCITED BECAUSE IT'S THE CHARIOT RACES TOMORROW!" she shouted at him.

I joined in and started screaming at him.

"Uh, okay." He said. "I've got-" he ran off without finishing his sentence, looking extremely scared.


	5. Chapter 5

Grover

"You mean whenever Annabeth and Percy were like, you know, doing laundry, or going to help Chiron, or, - OH! All that time Annabeth spent on the phone with Linda from school?" Clarisse asked, as her and Thalia sat down at the table in the pavilion. During the year, there weren't many people at camp, so the usual table rule didn't apply.

"Uh-huh, doing it, doing it, phone doing it." Thalia answered.

"Oh I can't believe it! I mean, if I were their friend and if I cared which I obviously do not then I would think it's great! For him. She might be able to do better." Clarisse said.

"Grover!" Thalia said, as if just realising I was sat at the table. "Clarisse just found out about Annabeth and Percy."

"You mean how they're friends and nothing more?" I asked. Thalia had obviously been gossiping, and I would get my drachma as soon as I'd rectified her mistake.

"No, Grover, she _knows. _We were at the bottom of the hill and we saw them at the top of the hill, near the tree." She paused. "Actually, we saw them up against the tree."

"Okay, so now they know you know, and they don't know that Thalia knows?" Clarisse asked me.

I took a moment to check I had that right in my head. "Yes. But you know what? It doesn't matter who knows what, because now, enough of us know, that we can just tell them we know! Now all the lying and the secrets will finally be over!"

"Or," Clarisse began, "We could not tell them we know, and have a little fun of our own!"

"Wait, what do you mean?" Thalia asked,

"Well, you know, every time that they say they're like, 'doing laundry', we'll just give 'em a bunch of laundry to do!"

"Oohh, I would enjoy that!" Thalia said.

"No no no!" I said. "No, wait, Thalia, you know what would be even more fun? Telling them!"

"That doesn't sound like fun." Clarisse told me.

"No." Thalia agreed.

"Well, so we'll make it fun!" I said. "We- we'll uh, we'll do it like a… like a barbershop quartet! We know, we know, we know!" I sang, shaking my hands like a showman.

"Yeah, no, I wanna do Clarisse's thing." Thalia decided.

"I can't take any-" I began.

"Oh, you don't have to do anything, just don't tell them that we know" Clarisse said.

"No! I can't take anymore secrets! I got your secrets, I got their secrets, I got secrets of my own, you know!"

"You don't have any secrets." Thalia scoffed.

"Oh yeah? Well you don't know about Hugsie, my bedtime polar bear pal!" my eyes widened.

"So, ahem, uh," began Thalia, "How're, how're we gonna mess with them?"

"Well, I would use my position, you know as the enemy, and then, you, you could… Aha! You could act as if you, you know, like Percy, and see if Annabeth gets jealous!"

"Okay, yeah, I suppose that could work." Thalia said. I stared at them in disbelief.

"Hi guys." Percy approached behind them.

Thalia started to twist her hair with her fingers and stare at Percy.

"Too much." Clarisse told her.

"Hey." I said to him, just wanting to remove myself from the madness surrounding me.

"Uh." Clarisse said.

"Hey, that jacket looks great on you." Thalia told him.

"Really? Thanks." He said. She stared at him for the rest of dinner batting her eyelids, and he looked a little uncomfortable.

Later that day, I was with Percy and Annabeth in Percy's cabin. They had taken to inviting me everywhere so people wouldn't ask why they were always alone together, because supposedly, I was the only one who knew. They were talking, and I wasn't really listening, until I heard this:

Percy: "The weirdest thing happened at dinner today, I think… I think Thalia was hitting on me."

Annabeth: "What are you talking about? Of course she wasn't."

Percy: "I'm telling you, I think Thalia likes me!"

Annabeth: "It's- It's not possible."

Percy: "Ow."

Annabeth: "I'm sorry, it's just, Thalia's always thought, you were, you were well, an idiot."

Percy: "Oh, well I can't hear that enough. Anyway, you still think I'm an idiot!"

Annabeth: "I'm sorry; I just think you misunderstood her."

Percy: "I didn't misunderstand, okay; she stared at me the whole time I was there! Why is it so hard for you to believe that Thalia could be attracted to me?"

Annabeth: "It's not!"

"Guys," I interrupted, "Thalia and Clarisse approaching."

Thalia and Clarisse burst in without so much in the way of an invitation and sat on Tyson's empty bed.

"Hey, Annabeth, what're you doing now? Do you wanna come and help us with a job Chiron wants us to do?"

"Uh, actually, I was gonna do some laundry." Annabeth told them. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and screamed to her in my head, _DON'T FALL INTO THEIR TRAP! DON'T – Oh, too late_, I thought, as Clarisse's eyes lit up and she looked at Thalia.

"Hey, Percy, want to do it with me?" she asked him.

"Sure, I'll… do it with you." He said, and I could see him realising what he'd just said.

"Great! Hold on a sec!" Clarisse said. She ran out of the cabin, left us for a minute of silence, and then came running back with a giant bag of laundry. "You don't mind, do you? That would _really_ help me out."

"Oh." Said Annabeth unenthusiastically.

"Great, now we can do laundry all night, all night laundry!" Percy said accusingly to Annabeth.

"Okay, we better get going to Chiron." Said Thalia. She stood up and moved over to Percy and whispered "see you." to him in his ear.

Once they'd left, their conversation continued like this:

Percy: "Okay, did you see that?"

Annabeth: "Actually, I did!"

Percy: "Okay so now do you believe me?"

Annabeth: "Oh my gods… Oh my gods she knows about us!"

Percy: "Are you serious?"

Annabeth: "Thalia knows and she's just trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation for it!"

Percy: "Okay, there are less hurtful ways to say that."

Annabeth: "Grover!"

Me: "Yeah?"

Percy: "Thalia knows about us!"

Me: "Well I didn't tell them!"

Annabeth: "_Them_? Who's them?"

Me: "Uh… Thalia… and _Grover._"

Annabeth: "Grover."

Me: "…And Clarisse. I would have told you, but they made me promise not to tell!"

Percy: "Ah, man!"

Me: "I'm sorry! But, hey, it's over now, right? Because you can tell them you know they know, and _I_, can go back to knowing absolutely nothing!"

Annabeth: "Unless…"

Me: "No! Not unless! This must end now!"

Annabeth: "Oh, man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see, they don't know that we know that they know! So,"

Percy: "Ah, yes. The messers, become the messees!"

Me: "Come on, you guys; think how much fun it would be to tell! We know, we know, we know!"

Percy: "What?"

Me: "Oh, that wasn't you."

"Right." Annabeth said, taking her phone from her pocket. "Phone her now and ask her out!" Percy looked a little taken aback by her eagerness, but took the phone all the same.

"Hey Thalia."

"Hi Percy." Replied an over the top girly voice.

Percy looked stuck, and looked over to Annabeth for help. She mouthed something, and he shook his head, and she threatened to punch him, so he spoke into the phone robotically, "I've been thinking about you all day."

"What?" replied a more realistic Thalia voice.

"Yeah, um…" he looked at Annabeth, silently begging for her to end it, but she just egged him on. "Hey, uh…do you want to, um…"

I couldn't even listen. I stepped outside, only to discover Thalia and Clarisse huddled over a phone behind the cabin.

"Ahh!" Thalia whispered as she turned the phone off. "He just suggested we should go to his cabin tonight! And he sounded all nervous and like, real Percy! Are you sure about this?"

"That son of a bitch! How could he do that to Annabeth? Not that I… care or anything." Clarisse caught herself at the end of her sentence.

"Did you say yes?" I asked.

"Well yeah, but I don't wanna do that!" she said. "I can't believe he would do that to-" she paused. Slowly, she revolved around to look at me. "Wait." I tried to look innocent. "Grover." She said slowly. "Do they know that we know?"

"No?"

"Grover!"

"They know you know." I nodded.

"Ugh! I knew it!" Thalia raged.

"I would say thank Zeus, everybody knows, it's finally over, but that doesn't really work for me." I said regretfully.

"Ugh, I cannot believe those two!" Thalia said.

"They thought that they could mess with us, they're trying to mess with us?" Clarisse paused, and added cunningly, "They don't know that we know they know we know! And Grover you can't say anything!"

"Couldn't if wanted to." I assured them.

Later on that night, Clarisse, Thalia and I walked over to Percy's cabin. As tired of it all as I was, I kind of wanted to see how it turned out.

Clarisse was going to wait outside and listen at the crack in the walls, whilst Thalia went in and talked to Percy, whilst Annabeth, whom I knew was hiding behind one of the beds, listened in. I would float around in no particular place, because both parties had now decided I was a liability. I drifted into the cabin whilst Thalia and Clarisse went over their plans. Annabeth and Percy were in the centre of the room.

"How far am I going to have to go with her?" Percy was asking.

"Relax, she's gonna give in way before you do!" Annabeth was saying.

"How do you know?" Percy asked with a frightened look.

"Because you're on my team! And my team _always_ wins." Annabeth told him.

"At this?" he asked incredulously.

"Just go get some!" she kissed him. "Now go, go!" he looked a little scared of her as she dived behind a bed. As Thalia walked in, I walked out.

I stayed outside, I didn't want to listen. Clarisse listened at the crack, wincing and cringing and mouthing to me "It's so awkward in there!"

I was about to go back to the forest and come back later to see if the deceit had stopped, when Thalia emerged from the cabin. "He's not backing down!" she whispered to Clarisse.

"Hey, it's Percy, you can take him! Don't you remember when you made him almost cry using only your words?"

After some pep talk from Clarisse, Thalia walked back in. "Do you have to do this?" I moaned.

"Look the sooner he cracks the sooner this is all out in the open and over with, okay?" Clarisse said.

"Ooh, I like that." I said excitedly.

"Wait." Clarisse said, looking through the crack in the wall and squinting. "They're moving in… Closer… Closer… Closer, oh my gods contact!"

"OKAY OKAY." I heard from inside. Clarisse grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. Percy was shouting. "Alright, alright, you win! I can't do that!"

"And why not?" Thalia pressed.

"Because I'm in love with Annabeth!"

"W-wait what?"

"I – love – her. That's right, love her."

"Aw, if I didn't hate you both I would find this so cute." Clarisse said. Annabeth appeared from behind the bed and started playing with his fingers.

"Dude!" I said.

"And hats off to Thalia, quite the competitor." He said, nodding to her.

"Alright!" I sighed. "So that's it! It's over! Everybody knows!"

"Well actually – no one in the camp does, and all my brothers and sister kind of don't really like Percy." Annabeth said.

"So if you could just keep it kind of quiet." Percy added.

I felt like crying.


	6. Chapter 6

Athena

I was with Poseidon on the beach next to Camp Half Blood. I'd decided it was time to put aside out differences, and forgive him. Just as I shook his hand, I looked over his shoulder. My daughter was standing a little further up the beach, her hands around the boy's neck and his hands around her waist. He looked familiar… Dark hair, sea green eyes… I looked back to Poseidon, then to the boy.

Percy Jackson kissed my daughter. I knocked Poseidon out of the way and screamed "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET OFF MY DAUGHTER!"


End file.
